Pasasalamat

One of my long time friends and "little brother" signs his blogs "Jibee thought life was worth blogging about on (insert time)". That got me thinking. I mean, there are a lot of moments everyday that I have something to be thankful for...that I have something to blog about. But in the midst of my hectic life, I never get down to doing it. The thought gets buried, the time runs out, the opportunity is lost. So now, I'm going to make a list of things I am thankful for and things I should have taken the time to write about. I will take 10 or so minutes out of my day to sit down and write--write anything and everything that comes to mind in the space of 10 minutes of silence.

1. I am thankful for John, Judy, John Gayle, and Mau. I've been going through some "stuff" the past couple of days and I thank them for being open minded, supportive, and funny--nothing like laughing with friends when all you want to do is yell and chop other people's heads off! hahaha. (And it's not like I want to do that everyday. It takes a lot to get me that mad.) Of course I am most thankful for John. Iba talaga when you marry your best friend. It's everything you need rolled into one amazing person. I am SO blessed.

2. I am thankful that my interview for the NFSMI in Mississippi was rescheduled. The first time around, I got stuck in the airport in Houston and never even made it to MS. Hopefully this time around I make it to the interview! I'm rather nervous, but I know that if it was meant to be, God will be with me. I am excited. Wow, a new phase in our life. John and I are so ready to for my "struggling grad student" phase to be over...which leads to my next point...

3. Thank God my mentor is a very patient person. I am behind--way behind--on the timeline for my dissertation, yet she continues to be encouraging and patient. I know I have got to get a move on, and I will. I remember how I was when I was finishing up my Masters--driven and gung ho about my thesis. Where did that girl go? I am down with the ABD flu. hahaha. (For the non academics, ABD stands for All But Dissertation...It means I'm a step short of being a PhD). It's the last lap, and I'm running out of fuel. I need to power up...saan ko ba mahahanap ang nearest gasolinahan for inspiration / motivation / and all other things that will get me out of this momentary lapse? hay...

4. I know that maybe others will not be thankful for people who talk crap about them behind their back...but I'm actually glad that the "noise" got back to me. I say that because it has made me realize that it is best to let go of things that are not good for you even if you think it was worth it at one point in your life. Such decisions are hard to make. Others might think you're being selfish. Pero, in reality, you're only doing what's best for you kasi holding on to it to please other people while you suffer does you no good. Oo, martyr ka...pero di na uso yun. Di naman nila ako itatayo ng monumento! "Thank you" nga di ko marinig, monumento pa kaya?! It's not that I'm expecting something in return, kayalang nakakapagod din kasi. (Side note about those who have said things: Well, sa bagay, if they tell my closest friends, siempre aabot sa kin, right? And that's what I don't get--kung ayaw nyong malaman ko dahil di nyo kayang sabihin sa kin ng harap harapan, then don't tell my best friends! Hellllooooo?! Or that's their easy way out--dahil alam nilang aabot sa kin. Hay, how spineless.)

5. I am thankful for a way to reconnect with relatives that I may not have seen for the longest time--or never met, for that matter. A few years ago, my Auntie Rachel did the same thing for the Cabildo clan. This time around, the Estepa side of the family naman. It's so nice to be able to interact with my Dad's generation, my own cousins (many of whom I did not have the chance to grow up with), and the generation after us:) Ang saya diba, kahit kalat kalat kami sa buong mundo, we have one tiny spot in cyberspace we could call ours...all ours! Woohoo! And having said that, thank God talaga for technology!

6. I thank the Lord that I had awesome roommates in college. The other night, I was chatting with Kate and it never fails to amaze me how we just pick up wherever we left off. We haven't seen each other for about 8 years now, but we chat like we were just hanging out yesterday. What I love about us is that we share so many life lessons together (we think we live parallel lives). We look back at all our "petty" problems then and we are able to laugh about them now. Tease each other, even. The other night, we were talking specifically about two people in our past that we both decided were better off as friends rather than anything more. And we said, "Buti na lang, natauhan tayo nun. Otherwise, we won't be with the guys we have in our lives now...the Lord truly had better plans for us. We were just less trusting then."

Ok, as much as I am enjoying this, my ten minutes are up. Next time ulit.

Quite a number of years ago, I went to a leadership course and we were asked to maintain a "Pasasalamat" notebook--a daily journal of things we are thankful about. I found it just recently and I forgot that I even brought it with me to the States. I read through it and I was amazed at how blessed I was [am]. As I read the things I wrote, I realized I need to be more grateful these days. I have not taken time to say thanks--or at least not as much as before. Kasi, really if you just look around, there's infinite goodness and blessings abound.

Today is going to be a happy day...