Too old for this...

I think that when you hit 30 (and then some), you should be able to openly talk to your friends, especially if you’ve known them a while (like almost all your life). If things are said and you don’t happen to agree, speak up. Discuss. Clarify. Understand. Heck, you can even agree to disagree. If something was said and it hurt your feelings, don’t just shut people out and sulk. The cold shoulder and silent treatment gets old. It really does. At first it makes the other person feel bad. After a while, it just gets frustrating. One can only try so many times.

For person A, I hope the new year brings you more patience. It may take several years (again), but the friendship is worth not giving up on.

For person B, I wish you would grow up and realize that your friends won't always have the patience to deal with your moroseness.

Misery loves company

Kausap ko yung isang kaibigan ko kanina. Wala lang, kelangan lang daw nya mag-vent. Sige sure, yan naman ang isang role ko sa buhay. Dakilang shock absorber (at minsan emotional punching bag pang release ng angst…hehe).

So pagkatapos ng kanyang venting session, naisip ko lang. Bakit ba talaga may mga tao na sole purpose in life nila eh ang manggulo ng buhay ng ibang tao? Parang ang satisfaction nila eh yung nakakacreate sila ng gulo. The bigger the away, the better! Ganun ba sila ka-sad sa life nila? Kaya siguro sila nanggugulo para hindi lang sila ang lonely. Misery loves company nga naman.

Sabi ko na lang, iwasan ang gulo. Kahit pilit inihaharap sa yo. Magsasawa rin yun, lalo na kung di mo pinapatulan…kasi sya lang naman nagmumukhang tanga. After a while, move on to the next target na lang kasi walang satisfaction sa yo. Di ka kumakagat eh.

At saka, bahala na lang si Lord sa kanya. Basta *ikaw*, cool ka lang. Malalaman naman ng mga totoo mong kaibigan na wala kang kasalanan. Sana lang maintindihan nila na may mga tao lang talaga na galit sa mundo at gustong mangdamay. Hay…

Bakit nga ba?

Bakit nga ba may mga tao na likas talaga sa kanila ang gumawa ng eksena? Likas talaga sa kanila ang mang-ungkat ng mga bagay-bagay na dapat ay matagal nang tinantanan—lalo pa’t wala namang karapatang mag-inarte.

Bakit nga ba kahit na may ilang taon nang nakalipas eh ibinabalik-balik pa rin ang mga dating napagkasunduan na at ilang beses na ring naipaliwanag? Makulit lang ba talaga sya o nananadya lang?

Wala na nga doon ang mga taong kasangkot, di parin talaga kayang patahimikin ang isyu. Kelangan bang mangdamay pa ng iba dahil lamang hindi nasusunod ang kagustuhan? Palibhasa kasi kakaunti lamang ang nagsasabi sa kanya ng, “Eh hindi nga pwede, eh!”

Hindi ako madaling magalit. Kahit papaano, mahaba-haba rin ang pasensya ko. Pero bakit nga ba may mga taong sadyang iniisip mo pa lang, naaalibadbaran ka na?

Siguro ganun lang talaga para matuto tayong magpasalamat sa mas nakararaming mabuting tao sa paligid natin. Buti na lang!

PS. Effort pala talaga magsulat ng purong Filipino!

uplifting

While I'm on it, I'll share something else I received today. One of my very good friends from college just experienced a big loss and we were discussing it with our barkada through our e-group. Sam's response really made me think and appreciate that I am surrounded by people of faith (kahit na in spirit lang ako surrounded since the barkada is scattered across the globe).

"Sometimes, something or someone realy comes and goes away without a warning at most of the time it hurts us so much! But God has His plans..Always bear in mind that He finds ways of returning what you lost in His Time...and when the right time comes, ay mas prepared na kayo pareho para i-receive yung blessing/s na ibibigay nya sa inyo...Trials come, but they dont stay forever...not unless, of course, if you hang on to them all your life!"

Thanks for the words of wisdom and faith, Sammy!

change

People who complain about anything and everything (but refuse to be part of the solution) get on my nerves. In my mind, if you feel that something is not right, then offer the [better] alternative. Don't run your mouth but have no idea how to fix what is seemingly wrong. Or worse yet, clamor [loudly] for change, but refuse to be the change agent. Words without action just becomes noise...noise that pollutes something that truly *could* be good.

Step up.

"Be the change you want to see in the world." --Mahatma Gandhi

it takes all kinds

kumusta naman daw yun? magpaka victim ba? ewan ko lang kung anong satisfaction ang nakukuha sa mga ganyang drama.

I remember reading a forwarded email that talks about the different colors needed to complete a box of crayons. "It takes all kinds" was the gist. And I have to say I see that more now.

There are times that you can't really tell the color until you try it on paper. How sad that sometimes, you have a concept in your mind, you think you like a crayon...then you write with it and you see the true color...you realize it doesn't quite suit your taste after all.

Just like a box of crayons, you like some colors more than others--and some not at all. People bring colors to your life--some nicer, brighter, more vibrant than others. I'm just thankful that the lovely colors in my life far outnumber the dull ones.

Sigh...it takes all kinds.

----

I have decided to celebrate John's birthday for the whole week. Each day, I will prepare at least 1 of his favorite dishes. My initial attempt at celebrating his birthday kasi ended up leaving a bad taste in our mouth. Instead na maging memorable ang last birthday celebration nya dito sa KS, medyo nasira due to some unfortunate circumstances.

SO, we'll try to make up for that by splurging on some very palatable treats:) Here's the appetizer I prepared today: tomato, basil, and fresh mozzarella drizzled with balsamic vinaigrette served atop toasted french baguette slices.

Realizations

Sometimes, we look at our lives and think about everything that has not gone the way we wanted and we complain about whatever is going "wrong". Sometimes we dwell on things that drag us down...And then we hear of real tragedies that make our "troubles" pale in comparison.

Today, 32 random people died...shot to death by an anonymous individual...for reasons not yet known. It happened at a well known and well respected university located in a seemingly friendly town. Read about the Virginia Tech shootings here.

Just this past week, I faced a lot of personal challenges and managed organizational crises. I am exhausted. But what happened today at Virginia Tech is enough to remind me that last week is now the past. I can no longer change what has happened, what has been said, what has been done. BUT I am still able to do what needs to be done. I am still alive. That is enough.

smoke signals

One of my mentors sent me the following and I thought...hmmm...maybe she saw my smoke signals, too! hahaha...

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small,uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Everyday he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?" Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island!It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?," asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

The Moral of This Story:
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives.... even in themidst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

P. S. You may want to consider passing this on, because you never know who feels as if their hut is on fire today.

Pasasalamat

One of my long time friends and "little brother" signs his blogs "Jibee thought life was worth blogging about on (insert time)". That got me thinking. I mean, there are a lot of moments everyday that I have something to be thankful for...that I have something to blog about. But in the midst of my hectic life, I never get down to doing it. The thought gets buried, the time runs out, the opportunity is lost. So now, I'm going to make a list of things I am thankful for and things I should have taken the time to write about. I will take 10 or so minutes out of my day to sit down and write--write anything and everything that comes to mind in the space of 10 minutes of silence.

1. I am thankful for John, Judy, John Gayle, and Mau. I've been going through some "stuff" the past couple of days and I thank them for being open minded, supportive, and funny--nothing like laughing with friends when all you want to do is yell and chop other people's heads off! hahaha. (And it's not like I want to do that everyday. It takes a lot to get me that mad.) Of course I am most thankful for John. Iba talaga when you marry your best friend. It's everything you need rolled into one amazing person. I am SO blessed.

2. I am thankful that my interview for the NFSMI in Mississippi was rescheduled. The first time around, I got stuck in the airport in Houston and never even made it to MS. Hopefully this time around I make it to the interview! I'm rather nervous, but I know that if it was meant to be, God will be with me. I am excited. Wow, a new phase in our life. John and I are so ready to for my "struggling grad student" phase to be over...which leads to my next point...

3. Thank God my mentor is a very patient person. I am behind--way behind--on the timeline for my dissertation, yet she continues to be encouraging and patient. I know I have got to get a move on, and I will. I remember how I was when I was finishing up my Masters--driven and gung ho about my thesis. Where did that girl go? I am down with the ABD flu. hahaha. (For the non academics, ABD stands for All But Dissertation...It means I'm a step short of being a PhD). It's the last lap, and I'm running out of fuel. I need to power up...saan ko ba mahahanap ang nearest gasolinahan for inspiration / motivation / and all other things that will get me out of this momentary lapse? hay...

4. I know that maybe others will not be thankful for people who talk crap about them behind their back...but I'm actually glad that the "noise" got back to me. I say that because it has made me realize that it is best to let go of things that are not good for you even if you think it was worth it at one point in your life. Such decisions are hard to make. Others might think you're being selfish. Pero, in reality, you're only doing what's best for you kasi holding on to it to please other people while you suffer does you no good. Oo, martyr ka...pero di na uso yun. Di naman nila ako itatayo ng monumento! "Thank you" nga di ko marinig, monumento pa kaya?! It's not that I'm expecting something in return, kayalang nakakapagod din kasi. (Side note about those who have said things: Well, sa bagay, if they tell my closest friends, siempre aabot sa kin, right? And that's what I don't get--kung ayaw nyong malaman ko dahil di nyo kayang sabihin sa kin ng harap harapan, then don't tell my best friends! Hellllooooo?! Or that's their easy way out--dahil alam nilang aabot sa kin. Hay, how spineless.)

5. I am thankful for a way to reconnect with relatives that I may not have seen for the longest time--or never met, for that matter. A few years ago, my Auntie Rachel did the same thing for the Cabildo clan. This time around, the Estepa side of the family naman. It's so nice to be able to interact with my Dad's generation, my own cousins (many of whom I did not have the chance to grow up with), and the generation after us:) Ang saya diba, kahit kalat kalat kami sa buong mundo, we have one tiny spot in cyberspace we could call ours...all ours! Woohoo! And having said that, thank God talaga for technology!

6. I thank the Lord that I had awesome roommates in college. The other night, I was chatting with Kate and it never fails to amaze me how we just pick up wherever we left off. We haven't seen each other for about 8 years now, but we chat like we were just hanging out yesterday. What I love about us is that we share so many life lessons together (we think we live parallel lives). We look back at all our "petty" problems then and we are able to laugh about them now. Tease each other, even. The other night, we were talking specifically about two people in our past that we both decided were better off as friends rather than anything more. And we said, "Buti na lang, natauhan tayo nun. Otherwise, we won't be with the guys we have in our lives now...the Lord truly had better plans for us. We were just less trusting then."

Ok, as much as I am enjoying this, my ten minutes are up. Next time ulit.

Quite a number of years ago, I went to a leadership course and we were asked to maintain a "Pasasalamat" notebook--a daily journal of things we are thankful about. I found it just recently and I forgot that I even brought it with me to the States. I read through it and I was amazed at how blessed I was [am]. As I read the things I wrote, I realized I need to be more grateful these days. I have not taken time to say thanks--or at least not as much as before. Kasi, really if you just look around, there's infinite goodness and blessings abound.

Today is going to be a happy day...

Enjoy your coffee!

The semester is officially over, but I'm still trying to tie loose ends with last minute project submissions, incomplete grades, and students "clarifying" their grades. I have barely closed the gradebook for Fall distance class and I'm already working on my syllabus for Spring (already a late start!). Gotta love the academe, right :) But that's okay, it's part of the training...and it's emails like the ones below that make it all worthwhile:

• Just want to let you know that I truly enjoyed your class this semester. Truth be known, I wasn't looking forward to taking this course, because I tend not to like managing people, budgets, and number-crunching. But you made the class very interesting. I especially appreciated your exceptionally positive interaction during the chat sessions and your timely responses to my emails during the course of the semester.
  
• I've definitely learned a lot of useful and practical information. Thanks for being so helpful and understanding, and for being such a devoted teacher!
• It was great to have you for the course instructor and I hope to get to take a class again from you in the future. This semester has been great and I appreciate how interactive you were with the class…it really gave us a class atmosphere. I hope you have a Merry Christmas.
• Thanks so much! I'm excited I did so well -- I've felt like I was learning so much all semester but of course got a bit nervous just before the exam...[sent after getting results for her final--she got an A, by the way]

Then of course I also get the notes inserted in projects, written on the final, posted during chat, etc:

• We believe that we have achieved all the goals outlined in this project. We have maintained a food cost percentage below 35%, labor cost...[more financial analyses here]...The last goal we have to fulfill is to get a 95% or better on this project. [maybe I should use that tactic...guilt trip the teacher! hahahaha]
• That WAS extra credit, right?
  
• Are you going to give extra credit projects? [This after missing several quizzes..uh...NO]
• Whew! I think I just got carpal tunnel after all that writing [my exam appeared to be a killer...it really wasn't--well, that is if they studied :) ]
• You promised partial points, right? Right? Please?
  
• I was waiting to receive all my project feedback and grades before sending you this so as to not look like I was brown nosing :)

All that said, one of my mentors sent me an interesting anecdote. Thought I'd share since I feel that with Christmas fast approaching, I know I have to take some time to calm myself and "enjoy the coffee"...

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some
expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.

While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee in most cases, just more expensive; and in some cases, even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... and then began eying each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups..........enjoy your coffee.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care!

another year...wiser?

This summer marks some pretty big milestones in my life...

1. I just celebrated my 30th birthday. Everyone kept telling me, "Wow, you're turning the big three-o". And I thought...well...what really is so big about it? I guess I don't notice it (or think about it a lot) because I'm still in school . I feel like I'm back in college--except it's quite a bit harder (by leaps and bounds!). hahaha. And of course, almost always, the next question was, "When will you have a baby?" Sigh...

2. It's my last year to handle the SUROP group. I've been working with the undergraduate research program for the past 3 summers and it has been fun. Challenging and demanding...but fun. I've learned a lot along the way and I love working with, and getting to know the students. I think I could add "shrink, crisis manager, event planner, referee, problem solver, peace maker" to my job description for the resume:) I'm also the summer Mom, on call, 24/7. Just yesterday, one of my students sent me the sweetest email. Short, but it totally made my day: "Hi Amelia--Just wanted to say thanks for all you do. Your hard work is appreciated. You're amazing:)" What a great birthday gift—even if she didn’t know it.

3. Come August, I end my contract as the GRA for the Graduate School. Just thinking of how much I have to turn over to the next person is overwhelming! I'm in the process of creating a position manual so the next GRAs won't feel as lost as I was. hahahaha. Over the last two years, I have learned so much about the behind-the-scenes of higher education. I have seen, heared, and experienced first hand the policy making, discussions, politics, power plays, and other fundamental activities needed to run the MS and PhD programs--particularly at a land-grant institution. I think that one of the lessons I appreciate learning the most is the art of diplomacy. Because I was working with different people from a wide array of disciplines (with varying levels of social skills!), diplomacy was key to keeping my sanity. I'm also going to miss the people I see everyday at the office. Their support and camaraderie is truly a blessing.

4. I finally start teaching this fall. Not only does this mean that I finally get to do what I love doing...it also means I get my tuition paid for! wooohooo! That's only secondary, though, since I really wanted to get this position so I can have teaching experience here. I am excited, and also a bit anxious. After all, this is my first teaching experience with American students and it's in a format I am not familiar with. Although the class will be online, I think I will enjoy it. There are some pieces of equipment and tech tools that I am excited to learn about. Personally though, I think that in the end, I would still choose in-class instruction over online classes.

5. I take my preliminary exams this August. That in itself is enough to make me queasy! That's 6 written exams of 4 hours each. Then they give me at least a 10-day sanity break before I face a firing squad (a.k.a. the oral exam where I face a panel of faculty members shooting rapid fire questions at me). Hopefully, by the end of August and as fall rolls around, I will no longer be "just" a PhD student...but rather, a PhD candidate..A.B.D (all but dissertation). My prof says it's just a right of passage that every PhD person has gone through. Yeah, okay, but it's still nerve-wracking as heck! Sigh...such is life.

Before I forget though, I would like to say thank you to JOHN for a wonderful birthday. My turn to say "Thank you for all you do (to keep me happy...to keep me sane...and to keep me in line. hahahahaha) i love you!

ahhhh, life!

My professor sent this to me and i felt like sharing...

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years
and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

feel good read!

The following is a rather long read, but well worth it. It was sent to me by a good friend of mine [hello, ate myrene!]. It was in turn sent to her from her good friend who happens to be an ex student of the author, Dr. Bob Kemerait, a Plant Pathology professor at the University of Georgia.

Actually, it reminded me of some things that I take for granted about being Filipino. It's nice to be reminded that these [good] things are what sets us apart!

A Truer Face of the Philippines, a Face Hidden from Americans
By Bob R. C. Kemerait, Ph.D.
Department of Plant Pathology
University of Georgia
Rural Development Center, Tifton


The day after the mudslide on the island of Leyte in the Philippines was reported in the United States, I received a worried phone call from a colleague here at the University of Georgia. Tim had seen footage of the tragedy on the evening news. Though unsure where in the Philippines it had occurred, he was concerned that my wife Pam's family had been caught up in the event. I thanked him for his concern and responded that I was confident Pam's family wasn't involved. Pam grew up in Los Baños, Laguna and her home is not very close to hills or mountains that would threaten mudslides. Over the next week my assurance to Tim was repeated to many others who were concerned for Pam. I was grateful that they cared enough about her family to ask for clarification. On long solitary drives across Georgia that week, I had plenty of time to think about this latest tragedy in the Philippines and to ponder its implications. My first realizations were that good news from the Philippines is rarely reported in the United States and that most Americans know very little about the archipelago nation. Our countries have shared a very close history over the past 100 years; the Philippines was a protectorate of the United States for nearly 50 years after the conclusion of the Spanish-American War. American soldiers fought and died alongside Filipino troops in the battles against the Japanese in World War II. Strategic American air and naval bases were maintained in the Philippines until the early 1990's. Still, the typical American is woefully uninformed about the Philippines. More importantly, the little that is known paints a picture of this country that is, at best, skewed, and at worst perpetuates regrettable stereotypes of the culture and citizens.

The printed and network news that reaches the American public largely shapes our view of the world. If I were to take guess at the most common perceptions Americans have of the Philippines, they would be as follows, not necessarily in any particular order.

1. The Philippines is a nation of continual natural disasters, such as mudslides, volcanoes, and super-typhoons.
2. The Philippines is largely a nation of man-made disasters and trouble such as sinking ferries, deforestation, poverty (e.g. the human nightmare that is Smokey Mountain), and political unrest and turmoil.
3. The fact Americans are most likely to know about the Philippines would involve 3000 pairs of shoes from Malacañang Palace.
4. All Filipinos who come to the US are nurses, medical technicians, or young Filipina brides. (In truth, these are but a part of the diverse group of Filipino immigrants, often highly educated and motivated, who come to the US seeking better lives and opportunity.)
5. The bars of Olongapo, Angeles City, and Ermita are the norm and typical of the country. (In fact, much of this has changed in all three locations.)
6. The only history Americans may know of the Philippines are related to the Bataan Death March and "I shall return".
7. Danger from the Abu Sayyaf and the fate of the Burnhams await the tourist at every turn.
8. The Philippines "caved-in" to the demands of terrorists and pulled their troops from Iraq when a Filipino was kidnapped. (Most Americans do not realize how vulnerable vast numbers of Filipino over-seas workers across the Middle East are to abuse and terrorist attacks. The government in the Philippines can do little to protect them.)

Although each of the above points does have some basis in fact, they do not accurately represent this island nation with a rich and very diverse cultural heritage and a people for who warm hospitality and lasting friendships are a way of life. I believe that creating an image and reality of the Philippines based upon the perceptions above would be the same as defining the United States as a land of gang violence, drug abuse, obesity, and lack of regard or consideration for anything that is not "American".

Because my wife is from the Philippines, I have had the opportunity to be immersed in Filipino culture here at home and on visits to her home in Los Baños. As I was thinking about the stereotypes of the Philippines that are prevalent in the US, I also thought about my own perceptions of the Philippines and Filipino culture. When I recall memories and thoughts about all things "Pinoy" I envision the following.

1. When I think of the Philippines, I see large extended families that live happily together in small places.
2. I think of large families that remain not only physically close, but emotionally close as well.
3. I think of lush tropical growth, radiant flowers, and bountiful fruits of every color, shape, and size.
4. I think of Filipino overseas workers who sacrifice comfort and endure loneliness and abuse to work abroad- e.g. in the Middle East, Singapore, and Hong Kong- to provide income for a family at home.
5. I think of the smell of fried garlic, fried fish, and fried daing (small dried fish) wafting from the kitchen. (Both because of the close proximity of the homes and because of the hospitality where one is welcomed and expected in the neighbor's home.)
6. I think of barkadas (a group of very close friends), potluck dinners, and LOTS of merienda (mid-afternoon snacks).
7. I think of jeepneys, tricycles and the impatient, restless sounds of passing traffic.
8. I think of brightly colored bandanas pressed tightly to the noses and mouths of pedestrians.
9. I think of the solitary cry of "Taho!!" coming from out on the street early in the morning.
10. I think of warm smiles, courtesy, cheerful bantering, and "Hey, Joe!" as I walk through Los Baños.
11. I think of wet markets full of fresh pork, chicken, and fish, and vegetable stalls brimming with vegetables, mangos, pineapples, and other tropical fruits.
12. I think of boys walking with an arm over their buddies' shoulders and girls walking hand-in-hand.
13. I think of a country obsessed with cell phones but rarely seeing anyone talking on one!
14. I think of heat and humidity and rain.
15. I think of San Miguel, fighting cocks, and Jolli Bee.
16. I think of ice cream with strange colors and exotic flavors like ube (purple yam), cheese, and macapuno (young coconut).
17. I think of exuberant children everywhere.

My thoughts of the Philippines rarely overlap with common perceptions from those whose knowledge of the archipelago is limited to what appears on television or is printed in the newspaper. Sure, as in any country, there are serious problems in the Philippines. In fact, the problems facing the Philippines are so severe that one must wonder if the country can ever truly overcome them. However, it is my experience that the richness of the culture, the warmth of the people, and the sheer beauty of the land and sea overshadow these problems in my memory.

I wish that more people in the United States could visit the Philippines and share in a culture and people that have enchanted and embraced me. Better understanding of each culture could insure close relations and cooperation between two proud nations for the future. Without question, Americans visiting the Philippines would be warmly welcomed and enjoy a destination of great exotic appeal. Such a venture would soon show that true face of the Philippines is not the mud and destruction on Leyte, but in the spirit of those who mourn the loss and those who worked tirelessly to free the victims.

Thank you, Dr. Kemerait for speaking about the positive side of things so that others may learn that the Philippines is more than just the tragedies that envelope us!

service with a smile

I went back to reading A Purpose Driven Life a while back. It has taken me forever and a day to get through the book. But even if I'm not doing it consecutively as prescribed, I still take away important morsels each time. Today's chapter was about "Accepting Your Assignment." Basically, it says that each of us have been put on this earth for a reason...that being SERVICE.

As I was reading, I couldn't help but think of my parents. They are certainly my role models when it comes to altruism, fighting for the greater good, and just going above and beyond the call of duty. The following excerpts reflect the way I see them:

You were put on earth to make a contribution.

A saved heart is one that wants to serve.

We are healed to help others. We are blessed to be a blessing. We are saved to serve, not to sit around and wait for heaven.

Holy living consists in doing God's work with a smile.

Service is the pathway to real significance.

Service is not optional.

I hope that one day, my children will look back and be able to say the same about me. Sometimes I feel so consumed with everything I am doing academically that I don't do as much as I can for other people. Last Friday, I helped a friend of mine with something that was really important to her and when I saw how happy she was with the results, I remembered what a natural high it was when you're able to make someone smile....

pahabol

Happy birthday, Ann! Ingit naman ako di ko natikman ang libre mo! hehehehe...next time, bawi kami ni John:)

taking note

Do you ever have an "aha!" moment while doing some of the most ordinary things? Well, today I received several emails that did that for me. I mean, these are not monumental discoveries, but sometimes it's just nice to be reminded.

So I decided to list 5 the things that caught my attention today:

1. "Write down thoughts and inspirations." --hence this post:)

2. "Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe"

3."Do something for the Kid in You everyday."

4. "Slow down."

5. "More often than not, the greatest difficulty you must overcome is convincing yourself to get started."

And some that made me laugh:

1. Myths disspelled

2. Commercial Success by Bianca Consunji

3. Jo Koy :) Watch this...he's hilarious!

4. An email from Kuya Gerald entitled..."You grew up in Baguio if..." Too bad there is no link to it. Reading it got me smiling...home sick too...but it's all good:) There were more than 100 on the list, but here's some I like:)

• you remember there was a real tree in the rotunda fronting what is now SM Baguio and the post office (which was cut down to give way to the fountain of tiyanaks and eventually to the concrete pine tree)
• you ate the best fried chicken at Mother's
• you ate imported ice cream on cones with square ends in John Hay
• you had a sayotehan in the backyard --we still do!!! hahaha
• you tried ghost hunting (or as they now call it spirit questing) at Diplomat Hotel or Loakan
• you once planted a pine tree sapling for the a regreening movement effort
• you had FEN courtesy of those special antennas and therefore enjoyed to the max all the hit Western TV shows (that's why you were so angry when the bases were pulled out!)
• you always were afraid of that pine tree in the middle of the road on the way to the Loakan airport (it has been cut down)
• you distinctly remember that there was a small public library near the Athletic Bowl and the tennis courts in Burnham
• you enjoyed the bump car rides at the basement of Maharlika (back when it was not yet a food court)
• you would always go to Tesoro's to buy cinammon cake when you would have visitors because they had "then" the best cinammon cake in Baguio --or you bought chiffon birthday cakes there with the white jelly stripethingamajig...
  
• you went to Gold Mine Disco at Hyatt Terraces for afternoon disco...(sometime later Spirits became the "in" place)
• you thought that the best Chinese restaurants in town were Rosebowl and Star Cafe -- I still do! Every time I go home, I make sure that I go there...add O'Mai Khan to the list, too!
  
• the only grocery store you remember is Sunshine Grocery (the small one at the market)
• you ate toasted siopao from Handaan when it was the craze --hey, it was really good:)
• you enjoyed eating pizza at the old Shakey's located at the basement of Skyworld (now the haven of ukay ukay)
• you bought imported goods either at John Hay commissary (for those who had the privilege), the PX goods stores in the market or at GP arcade (for the rubber shoes--remember when Tretorn was the IN thing? hahahaha)

Ang dami dami pa. sigh...I miss Baguio!!!

"Christ"mas

When I hear that people are encouraging others not to say "Merry Christmas" because it is not politically correct, I cringe inside. Perhaps it's because I was raised in a culture that was centered on Roman Catholicism. I grew up knowing that the reason we celebrated "the season" was not merely to exchange gifts, take a few days off, spend a lot of money, or eat until we drop. I was always taught to reflect and celebrate the birth of Christ. When I heard that someone went as far as changing the lyrics to Silent Night so that it did not have any religious connotations, I felt really sad. Christmas trees are not allowed in some schools...but if they had one, then it had to be called a holiday tree--and no angel or star on top either. Christmas has become so commercialized that others "participate" in it, but don't really know why.

Right on cue, I received an email from Dawn, a good friend of mine from college. She sent me a piece about the different meanings of Jesus' name. The author's name is not included in the passage, so I apologize that I can't exactly give credit where credit is due:

The Glory of His Name

The message of Christmas is not about the proclamation of a holiday or the declaration of a season. It is about the proclamation of a Person and the declaration of Salvation. The birth of the child in the manger was an event that prophets had written about, the people of Israel had spoken about, the patriarchs of old had wondered about, and the angels of God shouted about on that glorious night when Christ was born.

Turn back the clock 2000 years and you will hear no man or angel saying, “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays.” What you will hear are the things that spoke of the wonders of His name, the glory of His presence, and the meaning of His birth. You will hear the voice of the angel of the Lord proclaiming to a small band of shepherds the following good news, * “Have I got something to say to you! It’s news that is too good not to be true. It’s news that will flood you with joy from your head to your toes. God has done it! He has sent the One that He has promised to send, the Jewish Messiah, from David’s very seed. Yes, it is Yeshua, God’s Salvation, who has come to save you from your sins.” The news was so exciting that a huge number of angels could no longer contain themselves. In one thunderous voice they shouted out, * “Glory, glory to God in heaven’s highest place. He has sent to earth’s lowly place His gift of perfect peace, and it is now available for all who will believe.”

Why did the angels have such excitement and celebration? We only need to know the names that belong to Him to understand.

Jesus—the One who saves you from your sins and who brings you forgiveness from the past.

Christ—the One sent by God for you; the Messiah, the fulfillment of every promise God has made to you in His word; the only One anointed by God to redeem you.

Immanuel—the One who came from heaven to earth to bring you from earth to heaven; God living in the midst of your life, being with you, and abiding in you.

The Word—the One who formed you in your mother’s womb, brought you into existence, and created you for His eternal purpose.

Dayspring—the One who brought light to your darkness—bringing you the hope of a new day, a new beginning, and a new life.

Wonderful—the One who does wondrous things for you, good things to you, and beautiful things within you.

Prince of Peace—the One who quiets your heart, calms your spirit, and brings rest to your soul.

Counselor—the One who guides your footsteps, leads you in the paths of righteousness, and speaks the love of the Father to your heart.

May Jesus and all that He gives be your true celebration for Christmas!

Looking back at AIPT

Below is a copy of an article on AL RIVERA that was published on Philstar.com. It's long, so I just took snippets of it to give you a glimpse of the program that brought me to the St. Louis Marriott Downtown in Missouri. I'm so thankful that I got to be a part of that. I can definitely say that it was a learning experience for me...in more ways than one:) I encourage you all to check out the AIPT (Association for International Practical Training).

The article is a long read, but a good one. Yan ang Pinoy!

Al Rivera: Proud to be Filipino
People Asia Magazine 09/08/2005

Al Rivera, the director of Food and Beverage at The JW Marriott Hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue, has founded a training and exchange program that has enabled Filipino hoteliers and artisans to train and work in various Marriott hotels in the US and UK. In doing so, he has not only given them jobs; he has given them recognition.
With everything that has happened and is happening in our country, a common question has been tossed to and fro: Is being Filipino still cause for pride? Some just take the national situation with as much cynicism as possible, choosing to bicker and complain. Some have chosen to remain indifferent. But there are still some out there, like international hotel executive Al Rivera, who trusts so much in the Filipino, his strengths and potentials, that he does everything to give as many of them a chance to live their dreams.

Al Rivera is the director of Food and Beverage at The JW Marriott Hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington D.C. (the flagship hotel of Marriott International), which is located just two blocks away from the White House. He graduated from San Beda College with a major in Banking and Finance. He began his career as a room service manager at Loews Anatole, Dallas and was promoted to banquet manager. He joined Marriott in 1983 and has been there ever since, holding various positions like catering manager at Dallas Marriott Quorum and food and beverage manager at Marriott Miami Airport.

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Rivera is an inspiration to Filipinos striving to reach the top of the ladder of the glamorous and high-earning senior executive level of management in any given industry.

One way he expressed pride in the Filipino was by starting and implementing an AIPT (Association for International Practical Training) program within the Marriott group. AIPT is a designated sponsor of the J-1 visa for the Exchange Visitor Program. Through this program, candidates from the Philippines are allowed to train in a Marriott Hotel in the States for several months, where they gain invaluable experience and training that serve them well when they return to the country.

Al Rivera has worked diligently with AIPT to develop training plans for its program participants and to ensure that each participant receives quality on-the-job training experience at the Marriott Hotel Properties. For the last 10 years, Al has hired Filipinos from major Philippine hotels. He usually selects college graduates of a four-year Hotel and Restaurant Management course or college students with two years of hotel experience. He has also managed to hire kitchen artists from Paete, Laguna for 18 months of training and development at different major Marriott Hotels in the US.

Ten years into the implementation of the program, Rivera was able to send 265 Filipinos to different Marriott Hotels in the US, training in all different departments. He visits the Philippines once a year and conducts interviews in the ballroom of the Century Park Hotel. The screening lasts for two and a half weeks, after which the final selections are announced. The chosen candidates are given a designated hotel, state and date of departure, which takes place 90 days from the date of selection.

Every year, there are some 500 to 550 applicants who are all eager, anxious and excited to qualify for this program. The chosen participants are provided training pay and, when needed, financial advances for the AIPT fee, plane tickets and three months advancement for apartment rental, all of which are payable on a weekly payroll deduction during 90 days of training.

His staff maintains that if you have gone through an interview with him, "you will never be the same… You will be able to interview anywhere else with a boatload of confidence."

--

Every year, when he goes to Manila to play in golf tournaments, he accepts guest speaker invitations from schools like De La Sane, St. Scholastica, FEU, St. Paul's and OB Montessori, to showcase the hotel industry and to encourage the youth to continue living their dreams. Is the Filipino still worth being proud of? Everyone has a different answer to that question. But if you ask people like Al Rivera, with all the effort they have placed on emphasizing and highlighting what we can do as a people, that question seems like a crazy one to ask.

*****

The interview process really was no joke. During my batch, the very first step was a panel interview in front of 250+ fellow applicants. It was nerve wracking to be one of the first to go up, but I think it was better than going last. Towards the end, your answers no longer seem original and it was more difficult to get a response from the crowd. The whole experience was great though. Going through three stages of interviews built character! Anxiety, too, but character nonetheless!

And of course, the 18 months in St Louis was a blast! It was hard work most of the time, but it taught me a lot about working in the real world, dealing with other people, management, and about myself (what I can do, cannot do...and SHOULD NOT do! hahahahaha). I also met some of the most interesting, most colorful people. I made friends who will always stay near and dear to my heart. I think one of the best benefits was GROWING UP.

Learning to live on my own was a challenge. But it was also after the whole STL stint that I realized I couldn't live without the certain someone whose faith in me and our relationship remained fast and strong...no matter what. Long story, but what's important was the happy ending! I love you, John!

relax and wait for the flow

Everyday, my friend (Kuya Glenn) sends me a daily motivator from one of his favorite writers: Ralph Marston. Often times, the messages are right on target with me. It really does remind me that in life, there are no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason. Everything comes to us at the perfect time. Maybe at times it's not perfect in our eyes...but it's all part of the great Master Plan.

This summer, I've been complaining about the gears just not clicking to action. I've been sluggish as far as my research is concerned. I'm hyper about a lot of things, but somehow, my academics are just not really at the top of the game right now. Today I read this and I thought...hmmmm...I wonder if this will fly with my adviser? hahaha. Read on:

Let your efforts flow

Trying too hard can often be as unproductive as not trying at all. Pushing yourself too hard sends an unspoken yet powerful message that you lack confidence in your own efforts.

Instead of forcing your efforts, seek to simply let them flow. Instead of being consumed with thoughts of how much or how little progress you're making, focus on the real substance of the effort.

When you wander a little off track, there's no need to despair or to work yourself up over it. Put that energy into pointing yourself back in the right direction.

Real progress will come at the pace at which you can give yourself fully and sincerely to the effort. If you attempt to rush the process, you may accumulate some meager tokens of success, but you will fall short of achieving real success itself.

Life already has enough pressures. There is no need to add more by pressuring yourself. Relax and let your efforts flow. That is how you can be your very best.

-- Ralph Marston

*~*~*~*~*~*

When it rains, it pours. For most people, when they hear that, they think it's something negative. But the same can be true when blessings come. It's just been a great month for my best friends and I. We've received so much good news in the past couple of days, celebrated many accomplishments in the love department, and just flooded each other's inboxes with the funniest quips. It's been great. Again, it makes me miss their company so much. But then again, we just decided to thank God for technology. That even when we are all so far apart, we're closer than ever!

*~*~*~*~*~*

One thing I am proud of though is all the work I put into learning html and other stuff to personalize my blog. Actually, it started with a project that I had to do for work and going in there with no html/css knowledge was difficult. It took me much longer to do things than it normally would. And also, I messed up the web links by experimenting with the code and our tech person was not all that happy with me. So I decided to put up another blog site that I can experiment on away from work. Then I thought....hmmm...why don't I apply what I've learned to my actual blog? ang voila!...here it is. I admit, it's nothing mind-blowing WOW like others I've seen...but it passes the "plain jane" stage and at that, I'm happy (for now, at least). I did use some research skills doing that, though...With so many resources out there, finding the friendliest codes and sites for a novice like me took some time, trial-and-error style:)

*~*~*~*~*~*

But duty calls as usual. I'm at the Graduate Office and I do need to get through several articles tonight...so...peace out!

little things

Everyday, I find out little things about myself that I may not have been aware of before. Like I knew these things were "tatak amy", but I was never "aware". I've made choices about what to eat, what to wear, what to do...but for some reason, today I just kept asking myself... "Will that choice be WHO you really are?" It's so strange.

• I was talking to my adviser about what classes I should take next fall. Right now, I'm enrolled in 2 difficult classes and research. There is another class that I have to take to graduate, but not necessarily take RIGHT NOW. However, taking it now will be the best in accordance with my program of study. The tough part of it is, it's also one of the hardest, most time-consuming classes in my program. What to do, what to do? My adviser and the department head seem to think that I can handle the three courses, plus work, and still have some semblance of a life. But is that really ME? I admit I work best under pressure, but do really live for that kind of [self] torture? Is it just the image that they've conceived of me (you know, the workaholic nerd that I supposedly am...hahhahaha)? Or is that who I am and not just what others want me to be? Sigh....


• John and I had a home-cooked Italian meal tonight--or at least, my effort at making an Italian meal! Prior to this, I told him I wanted to buy wine to go with the pasta that I was going to cook (just for the curious, the sauce had: stewed tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes [for more texture!], black olives, artichoke hearts, portabella mushrooms, and a gamut of herbs and spices [my secret combination... sorry!]). So off we went to the store...so many choices. And there again...should I go with the suggested wine that goes with the kind of pasta that I was making? Or go ahead and take my favorite kind? [again..the ideal vs the actual]. I bought my [current] casual favorite which is Beringer's White Zinfandel. It went really well with the dish, if I may say so myself! Of course it's some form of validation when John agreed with me:)


• I've been sitting in front of the computer willing myself to work. Obviously, it isn't happening. So to take a break, I went blog hopping. Everytime I found a particularly interesting site, I would ask myself if I agreed with their views...if I could relate...what made me decide to read it?...did I like it because it [just] looked good...or did I like it for the content?...questions that I'm suddenly conscious of, whereas I never really asked those before. I chanced upon some blogs that friends of mine write and honestly, I wonder sometimes how and why they are my friends. Are we friends because birds of the same feather flock together? ...or is it because opposites attract and we complement each other? hmmmm...

Pretty crazy how these thoughts just pop in and out of my brain. Maybe it has something to do with the research that I'm doing now. It's on brand personality and consumer behaviour. In that case, I guess I should consider that a positive...I'm internalizing all the literature that I read! hahahaha...but wow....I give a whole new meaning to applied research!

I hear yah, loud and clear!

When I was still in Baguio, I was very active with a group who organized personal leadership seminars. Through that very positive, extremely motivated bunch, I met Kuya Glenn. Eventhough we haven't seen each other for ages now, he still sends me the Daily Motivator from Ralph Marston. It always amazes me how the passages I get often are right on cue as though it was written for whatever I was going through for the day. (And if anything, I've learned that there are no coincidences in life! hahaha). Anyway, yesterday's motivator follows...how true, how true, right?!

When plans go awry

What do you do when nothing has gone as you had planned? Adjust your plans and get going again.

What can be done when problems and interruptions have drained away most of the time in your day? Step back and smile, knowing that you're wiser and more determined than ever to move forward.

For you've just experienced how precious your time can be, and realized how quickly it can slip by. Allow that realization to sharpen your focus, and then aim that focus on where you intend to go.

What's done is done. You are where you are.

The worst thing you can do is to fret about the time that's been wasted, for that will only add to the loss. The best thing you can do is to get up and get going again, with a fresh determination to make real progress.

Move beyond the time you've lost, and make use of the time you have. You'll soon be so far ahead that your little setback will quickly be forgotten.

-- Ralph Marston

Ain't that the truth?