little things

Everyday, I find out little things about myself that I may not have been aware of before. Like I knew these things were "tatak amy", but I was never "aware". I've made choices about what to eat, what to wear, what to do...but for some reason, today I just kept asking myself... "Will that choice be WHO you really are?" It's so strange.

• I was talking to my adviser about what classes I should take next fall. Right now, I'm enrolled in 2 difficult classes and research. There is another class that I have to take to graduate, but not necessarily take RIGHT NOW. However, taking it now will be the best in accordance with my program of study. The tough part of it is, it's also one of the hardest, most time-consuming classes in my program. What to do, what to do? My adviser and the department head seem to think that I can handle the three courses, plus work, and still have some semblance of a life. But is that really ME? I admit I work best under pressure, but do really live for that kind of [self] torture? Is it just the image that they've conceived of me (you know, the workaholic nerd that I supposedly am...hahhahaha)? Or is that who I am and not just what others want me to be? Sigh....


• John and I had a home-cooked Italian meal tonight--or at least, my effort at making an Italian meal! Prior to this, I told him I wanted to buy wine to go with the pasta that I was going to cook (just for the curious, the sauce had: stewed tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes [for more texture!], black olives, artichoke hearts, portabella mushrooms, and a gamut of herbs and spices [my secret combination... sorry!]). So off we went to the store...so many choices. And there again...should I go with the suggested wine that goes with the kind of pasta that I was making? Or go ahead and take my favorite kind? [again..the ideal vs the actual]. I bought my [current] casual favorite which is Beringer's White Zinfandel. It went really well with the dish, if I may say so myself! Of course it's some form of validation when John agreed with me:)


• I've been sitting in front of the computer willing myself to work. Obviously, it isn't happening. So to take a break, I went blog hopping. Everytime I found a particularly interesting site, I would ask myself if I agreed with their views...if I could relate...what made me decide to read it?...did I like it because it [just] looked good...or did I like it for the content?...questions that I'm suddenly conscious of, whereas I never really asked those before. I chanced upon some blogs that friends of mine write and honestly, I wonder sometimes how and why they are my friends. Are we friends because birds of the same feather flock together? ...or is it because opposites attract and we complement each other? hmmmm...

Pretty crazy how these thoughts just pop in and out of my brain. Maybe it has something to do with the research that I'm doing now. It's on brand personality and consumer behaviour. In that case, I guess I should consider that a positive...I'm internalizing all the literature that I read! hahahaha...but wow....I give a whole new meaning to applied research!